"The reverend he turned to me, without a tear in his eyes. It's nothing new for him to see. I didn't ask him why." ~from the song Cemetery Gates performed by Pantera It has been over a year that I have thought about writing this entry. Many times during the past months I wanted to find out the thoughts and feelings my nephew had about the incident. I was afraid to ask him. My concern was that I might stir up some buried emotions by urging him to relive the evening for me. And so I waited. Hoping time would be kind to him. Friday I finally talked to him about what had happened. This is about Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott's last nite. His name is not one the majority of people recognize. His father is country-westerm songwriter and producer Jerry Abbott. Darrell was a guitarist (who some consider to be one of the top guitarists ever to play) who formed a heavy metal band called Pantera. It was one of the most successful bands of the nineties. When it split in 2001, he moved on to play for Damageplan. In early December of 2004, Damageplan came to play in Columbus, Ohio. A crowded Alrosa Villa club was just getting into the music of the first song when a young man jumped onto the stage and shot Darrell repeatedly. His gunfire was not confined solely to the guitarist. The manic shooting spree killed four. Darrell first. One of the dead was a fan. One a club employee. One a bodyguard for the band. There was a fifth death...that of the gunman when a patrol officer shot him. And with that, Darrell Abbott became the first musician to ever be murdered onstage. Oh, the reason the 25-year-old man shot Darrell? He was mad at him for disbanding Pantera and joining another group. Nice, huh? My nephew was eager to see this group play that particular evening. He is a huge fan of music and always knows the latest information about various groups. He had been a Pantera fan and was a Damageplan fan. He and his boss excitedly arrived at the Alrosa. The opening song began to be played. Then gunfire erupted. First aimed at Darrell, then it was sprayed everywhere. Shots were fired into the crowd. The spectators fled the club and were kept in a parking lot to be questioned by police. Knowing my sister would hear about the shooting on the news, my nephew called her from his cell phone to let her know he was unharmed. These are the questions I asked him and his responses: 1. Do you think about that awful nite very often? No. 2. During the shootings, what did you think? At first, I thought it was part of the act. I think everyone thought that. 3. When all of you realized it was NOT part of the act, how did everyone react? It was not too chaotic getting out of the club. There was no pushing or shoving. Maybe everyone was kind of in shock. I called Mom to let her know I was okay, because I knew she would see it on the news and be worried. I remember feeling agitated when I talked to her. 4. Did you think about it a lot after that nite? And did it cause you to be afraid when you attended concerts from them on? At first for a few days, I couldn't think about it at all. Three days after the shooting, I went to a concert. I was nervous. I am not anymore. 5. What are your feelings about what happened? The whole situation pisses me off. It was a terrible waste. He was supposedly a nice guy (Abbott). Not only were the killings so awful, but the Alrosa's revenue was affected by it. Now few bands want to perform at the Alrosa. There used to be great groups that came there. There aren't anymore. It frustrates me. 6. Any lingering effects on you? I think I will always be angry about it. I don't really think about the shootings themselves except when I am listening to Pantera or Damageplan songs. I ended the interrogation at that point even though my mind was spinning with dozens more questions I wanted to ask him. It just "felt" the right time to stop had arrived. And I feel sure that after my phone conversation with him, he was probably assaulted by nonstop thoughts about all that I had dredged up. I know after I hung up the phone, I yet again thanked God that my precious nephew had not been one of the fatalities on that cold December evening. Closing with a very disturbing and chilling quote: "Guns are neat little things, aren't they? They can kill extraordinary people with very little effort." ~John W. Hinckley
Monday, March 27, 2006
SENSELESSNESS
"The reverend he turned to me, without a tear in his eyes. It's nothing new for him to see. I didn't ask him why." ~from the song Cemetery Gates performed by Pantera It has been over a year that I have thought about writing this entry. Many times during the past months I wanted to find out the thoughts and feelings my nephew had about the incident. I was afraid to ask him. My concern was that I might stir up some buried emotions by urging him to relive the evening for me. And so I waited. Hoping time would be kind to him. Friday I finally talked to him about what had happened. This is about Darrell "Dimebag" Abbott's last nite. His name is not one the majority of people recognize. His father is country-westerm songwriter and producer Jerry Abbott. Darrell was a guitarist (who some consider to be one of the top guitarists ever to play) who formed a heavy metal band called Pantera. It was one of the most successful bands of the nineties. When it split in 2001, he moved on to play for Damageplan. In early December of 2004, Damageplan came to play in Columbus, Ohio. A crowded Alrosa Villa club was just getting into the music of the first song when a young man jumped onto the stage and shot Darrell repeatedly. His gunfire was not confined solely to the guitarist. The manic shooting spree killed four. Darrell first. One of the dead was a fan. One a club employee. One a bodyguard for the band. There was a fifth death...that of the gunman when a patrol officer shot him. And with that, Darrell Abbott became the first musician to ever be murdered onstage. Oh, the reason the 25-year-old man shot Darrell? He was mad at him for disbanding Pantera and joining another group. Nice, huh? My nephew was eager to see this group play that particular evening. He is a huge fan of music and always knows the latest information about various groups. He had been a Pantera fan and was a Damageplan fan. He and his boss excitedly arrived at the Alrosa. The opening song began to be played. Then gunfire erupted. First aimed at Darrell, then it was sprayed everywhere. Shots were fired into the crowd. The spectators fled the club and were kept in a parking lot to be questioned by police. Knowing my sister would hear about the shooting on the news, my nephew called her from his cell phone to let her know he was unharmed. These are the questions I asked him and his responses: 1. Do you think about that awful nite very often? No. 2. During the shootings, what did you think? At first, I thought it was part of the act. I think everyone thought that. 3. When all of you realized it was NOT part of the act, how did everyone react? It was not too chaotic getting out of the club. There was no pushing or shoving. Maybe everyone was kind of in shock. I called Mom to let her know I was okay, because I knew she would see it on the news and be worried. I remember feeling agitated when I talked to her. 4. Did you think about it a lot after that nite? And did it cause you to be afraid when you attended concerts from them on? At first for a few days, I couldn't think about it at all. Three days after the shooting, I went to a concert. I was nervous. I am not anymore. 5. What are your feelings about what happened? The whole situation pisses me off. It was a terrible waste. He was supposedly a nice guy (Abbott). Not only were the killings so awful, but the Alrosa's revenue was affected by it. Now few bands want to perform at the Alrosa. There used to be great groups that came there. There aren't anymore. It frustrates me. 6. Any lingering effects on you? I think I will always be angry about it. I don't really think about the shootings themselves except when I am listening to Pantera or Damageplan songs. I ended the interrogation at that point even though my mind was spinning with dozens more questions I wanted to ask him. It just "felt" the right time to stop had arrived. And I feel sure that after my phone conversation with him, he was probably assaulted by nonstop thoughts about all that I had dredged up. I know after I hung up the phone, I yet again thanked God that my precious nephew had not been one of the fatalities on that cold December evening. Closing with a very disturbing and chilling quote: "Guns are neat little things, aren't they? They can kill extraordinary people with very little effort." ~John W. Hinckley
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6 comments:
I guess lessons come to us in different ways as our years are measured with experiences. How very lucky your nephew was, I beleive in luck. Do you? I often wonder how many times I have stood just seconds or inches away from that very unlucky moment. Wrong place at the wrong time...
Thankfully your nephew wasn't a victim to such a absolute senceless act.
Love
TJ
I'm so glad your nephew was not hurt! What a sad event and a great loss. I'm very surprised there was no panic.
I tried to put your tag on wwwc's blog, but I'm just not as html savvy as I thought. :) It's on mine.
Hugs
Nikki,
Thank-you so much for taking the time to post this. Your nephew's safety is of course the first thing that comes to mind for me here. But beyond that, I think back to the many times I was dreadfully worried when my own kids attended rock concerts in their teens. My oldest was a huge fan of Panterra. I didn't like the music. It frightened me, though I can't tell you why.
Maybe this is why. Music has such a tremendous influence on today's youth. Sometimes the effect of these bands is so powerful that reality gets lost and raw feelings get out of control for young people, as happened with this murderer.
I had a ballet student who became an ardent fan of Marilyn Manson. (Not sure I spelled it right). I watched that girl change drastically within a few short months, from a quiet pretty hard-working teen to someone with black lipstick and pierced skin that I hardly recognized. Her attendance in class became sporadic at best and I called her mother, who tearfully confided in me how fearful she was for her daughter's well-being. The girl dropped out of dance soon afterwards and I often wonder what became of her.
These are chilling examples of how powerful cult music can be.
NIKKI!
I wish you could hear my voice! Will you ever cease to amaze me???
One just...just how much we are so alike...
Pantera? For real?
I had seen them years ago, and it is a tradegy ...I admire your mindset with your nephew.
It is a wonderful thing to share that space with nephews and neices...Of course being the cool aunt and all, lol.
I think more than anything you opened that door, and it is a beginning. I could almost guarentee he will open it as well!
My mother has always been bothered by the fact that guns don't upset me.
People kill.
Guns are metal tools.
That was nice of you, Nikki. Your nephew seems to be leaving the trauma behind him.
V
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